#not in love with every characterization decision but it’s a comic book

[wanderingwolpertinger]

a clearly restrained and measured response from Dick Grayson circa 2040 AD

[7weaslesinacoat]

i keep seeing this and i saw another post saying something similar but it genuinely icks me so much when i see something like-

“insert character is actually a horrible person!” or “insert character is actually a good person!”

especially in comics, because first off-

these are fictional characters, i know we all love them- but they’re just placeholders with a name and personality that we tell made up stories about. they can’t be a piece of shit, because they aren’t anything, so don’t get so worked up.

second off when they DO come across that way, especially if the character is a protagonist or a “good guy”-

and then in one specific story or one timeline there is a dickhead version of them (batman is a great example, nightwing, talia al ghul- it happens so much in comics chat 😭) then i see so many fans or members of the community jump on the hate train for not just that characterization, but the character as a whole.

this also happens when said characters are given flaws to make them more realistic, talia al ghul is a huge victim of this (and usually MORE SO than most dc characters because she is subconsciously profiled all the time).

anywho, i see all these people dogpiling on a character even though 90% of the time that characterization is just a choice by the writer.

comic writers aren’t looking at protagonists and long standing characters and deciding “yeah they’ve actually been racist this whole time”, no, a couple writer made a stupid decision that got published. and the great thing about comics is that not everything you have to imagine as canon! not every iteration of batman is the batman that you love! and that’s ok, that doesn’t make a character bad.

and it definitely doesn’t excuse hating on fans of that character because your canon of that character doesn’t fit another’s.

(i feel like what we should be doing when discussing characterization is be aware that it is all taking place in comic books- like “oh my god i hate all star batman” or “in canon deathstrokes done some weird shit” instead of saying “i hate batman.” “deathstroke is a pedo”—even though he kinda is—

because what about media where he’s an anti hero? and what about the millions of media where batman’s *not* a dick? if your evidence for your claim is specific, make a claim about the specific evidence, and not the masses of unrelated data)

[cecilthecowardly]

What are your top three moomin adaptations (be detailed) (image accompaniment)

OKAY SO. for the uninitiated moomin is one of my biggest interests in the world. i am very picky about my moomin adaptations. i have beef with the 90s anime that i cannot ever discuss out of fear i will be crucified for it.

THAT BEING SAID!!! MY TOP THREE MOOMIN ADAPTATIONS EVER!!!

#3:

the moomin comics! originally beginning in around the 1950s, i'm hesitant to call it an adaptation necessarily since it was created by tove jansson and her brother lars. it's more of an addendum to the moomin canon, but it's different enough tonally and with the content itself that i feel as if it could be either a grey area or an adaptation. i love it for its plot and sense of humor like. oh my god

(the context is that the moomin family feels too basic and normal for how cool snufkin is, so moominpappa is lying for fun here) (i believe they do end up committing tax evasion, though)

#2:

moominvalley 2019! it's a computer generated adaptation made for modern audiences but it's very faithful to its source and was my first introduction to the moomins, actually. it's comedic while being very heartfelt and emotional in its themes, motifs, and characterization, and the relationship between snufkin and moomintroll is at the forefront of every decision made. the voice acting is phenomenal -- taron egerton of sing and rocketman fame voices moomintroll, for instance, and matt berry (lazslo from wwdits) voices moominpappa -- and the song choices are too! they got a lot of european indie singers like cavetown, girl in red, and dodie to compose and sing music for the show and it pays off so well. it embodies moomin perfectly and i adore it so much. also once again just Look

#1:

THE FUZZY FELT MOOMINS. it feels silly to put this at number one because of how strongly i feel about the 2019 adaptation but this one is just. so important to me. it's so comforting and sweet and a rather faithful adaptation in my experience. the music is enchanting and beautiful and the animation is so captivating and charming that it just has to be at number one because it's so SO GOOD. one guy narrates the entire thing and he does little voices for everybody and it's adorable to me. he narrates it as if it were the books -- and i believe they do just quote directly from the books' translations at times -- and it's phenomenal in every way. i just love it so much i have every one of the episodes on a USB

[salarta]

Comic Book Fandom and "Got Mine Fuck You"

There's a recurring situation I see way too often with X-Men comic book fandom. As I write this, I know what I'm saying doesn't apply to everyone, or to every fandom, or to every platform. It applies to what I've seen. And what I've seen is abysmal.

Back when the 2020 run of X-Factor happened, I saw a LOT of apologism for the way Polaris/Lorna Dane was treated on that book. Paired with trying to spin her being on the book as good for her.

"Oh hey yeah, the X of Swords issue didn't acknowledge Lorna surviving the Genoshan genocide because... uhh... it was all implied! They didn't just didn't say it explicitly."

Then when the Genoshan genocide took center stage in another comic's story arc a couple years later, with Kitty Pryde as the focus, Lorna acting like she has no history with it and just complaining about a lack of coffee gets painted as "Oh but there's only so much panel space! And they already told Lorna's story with Genosha anyway, this time they're focused on Kitty's story with it!"

Let's also not forget that during the X-Men vote, we had so, so many X-Factor fans arguing for her to lose the vote, and not get to be a mainstay on the flagship book, because "X-Factor is her book and she's getting good use there anyway." As if it would've been impossible for her to be on two books at once. Some of those fans were at least more honest about it, where they admitted the real reason they wanted her to lose is cause they thought the book would die without Lorna to exploit for other characters like Rachel.

And now, we have the current X-Factor. Where fans of Havok, Pyro, the name X-Factor, nostalgia for the 90s, etc have all insisted that forcing Lorna back into "Havok's girlfriend who acts stupid so he can be a big strong man about it" is fine actually. Perfectly cool. The sexism is satire so it's fine, everything's fine, shitty treatment of her is fine. Anything to promote Havok, or Pyro, or X-Factor, or whatever else.

Only for those same people to start crying the instant Havok and Pyro look stupid too. Because you see, they can excuse the sexism and making a woman look stupid and completely destroying her character and development to make her fit a sexist mold for their cis straight Aryan male self-insert.

But they draw the line at their woobie self-inserts looking just as dumb. Stupid and character assassination is for the womenfolk you see, not for men.

What I'm getting at is, I keep running into a brick wall called "Got Mine Fuck You" that's pervasive with too many comic book fans. And while I'm emphasizing this behavior on Lorna, it's not just her. They've also done shit like attack and badmouth another writer for daring to suggest their great golden god Writer Of The Moment could have plagiarized their work. Harassing her, changing her Wikipedia page. Because they care more about salvaging the reputation of their favorite things than about what's right.

It annoys the fuck out of me. Because in spite of all the fanfare about comics being progressive (when it's financially convenient), this is one of the big gaping dark sides.

I try not to be that guy. I can't say I don't fail, but I try to be better than these chucklefucks.

When season 1 of Gifted killed Dreamer off, I had no problem calling out how asinine and insulting their handling of her death was. I COULD have been That Asshole that tries to act like it was a genius decision, all because Polaris was being treated amazingly in season 1 and Dreamer's death could've been leveraged for Pain Points for Lorna. I didn't do that.

Secret Wars House of M also gave Quicksilver and to a lesser extent Magneto a raw deal in characterization. Even as AU characters, it hit very wrong for Pietro to be depicted as a mustache twirling traitor type when there were ways to keep him closer to his core without taking that route. Now I will admit, I had a moment of weakness with this because I loved what it was doing with Lorna. But in the end, I still recognized it was a problem.

Even with the X of Swords issue of X-Factor. There were many problems with Lorna's treatment there, but there were problems all around. Rockslide fans were very upset with it, for good reason. And Rockslide had actual people around who knew him and had closer relationships with him. Why did they get shafted, with Lorna used instead?

Fandom should really strive for better. For all characters. Not just their pet favorites. Fandom should not be eager to throw other characters, other fandoms, everything that means so much to them and resonates with them, under the bus just so their own faves can get a little benefit out of it.

Fans should not be eager to make excuses for shitty treatment just cause that shitty treatment makes their fave look good. Fans should not want to see another character's potential undermined and thrown away just cause keeping that character down allows a book they like to prosper. Fans should not be trying to make sexism out to be nothing but satire just cause they think a female character "deserves terrible characterization."

These fans try to say their fandom is great. But then they act in ways that tell the world it's not.

It would be nice if they had some fucking principles for once.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Can you recommend me Loki books? (as in novels, not norse mythology textbooks)

I am not sure if I rated these correctly in terms of audience maturity. But I tried lol.

Comics:

Valhalla comics-Peter Madsen

Fun slap-stick re-tellings of the Norse myths. Children oriented?

Loki (2004) aka "Blood Brothers" by Robert Rodi & Esad Ribic

It's my favorite Marvel!Loki comic of all time. It altered my brain chemistry. You can read it for free on the links in my pinned post.

The graphic novel version of Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman.

There's also this webcomic I found as a teen that's ongoing to this day and I need to go back to following:

Kids:

Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good by Louie Stowell

Diary of a Wimpy Kid but with Norse mythology! What's not to love about that?!

Eight Days of Luke-Dianna Wynne Jones

The book that inspired "American Gods."

Odd and the Frost Giants-Neil Gaiman

A boy named Odd encounters Odin, Thor, and Loki who have been turned into animals.

Teens:

Runemarks duology-Joanne Harris

Just keep to the first two books. You'll hate the rest. Let's just say it dealt horribly with Eating Disorders and Harris should have done research on heavy topics before writing about them. Her Loki in the first two books is very enjoyable and he rules over goblins for a while, among other things. I also thought the way rune birthmarks worked in here was fun.

Norse Mythology-Neil Gaiman

It's an entertaining overview of the myths. If you're unfamiliar with them it's a good place to start.

Adult:

Black Wolf: The Binding of Loki-Una Verdandi

I don't recommend if you want a soft!Loki or one that remains a decent person. Loki is interesting and feels like a force of nature. But let's just say he's like the Joker with all that implies. But I thought it was a worthwhile read (very long). It has probably the best Sigyn depiction I've encountered. She feels like a real person! I go more in detail here. I'd pay attention to the things I warn about in case they're deal-breakers or triggers. My review is not spoiler free but contains warnings.

American Gods-Neil Gaiman

Has very interesting premise and a multiple pantheons existing at the same time. It's fun how the deities adapt to the USA and modern times.

The Goddess of Nothing at All-Cat Rector

This book is basically a Norse myth whump fic. I would avoid if that's not your thing because I can see how someone else might hate it. I know I like it because making fictional characters suffer is my guilty pleasure. You won't be laughing at the mythology-based Loki memes. I don't think it's perfect. For example, I dislike that they have to make Loki's every action "justified", such as cutting Sif's hair because Sif called him fantasy racism slurs. Let him be a bit of an asshole just because. The disproportionate punishment makes it difficult not to sympathize with Loki either way. I don't know how I feel about her Sygin. It's the 2nd best Sygin I've seen yet in books. She has a personality, is likeable, and is not a doormat, but something about her and this Loki feels sanitized to me. Like the author was checking boxes for Sygin and Loki. I don't know how to explain it.

Father of Monsters-A. B. Frost

Short read. Loki is a loveable little shit that gets the Aesir into trouble and takes one for the team to get them out of it. I really liked this characterization and it had cute illustrations of Loki, Angrboda, and Jormungandr.

The Nine Worlds Rising Series-Lyra Wolf

They're not perfect. I think her Loki is very funny and likable but too sanitized. And Sigyn has no flaws other than caring too much for her no-good brother while the other goddesses are evil witches. But the author has a very comedic writing voice that is highly enjoyable and keeps the stakes high so that you want to keep on reading. I also like how one of the books starts with a very vengeful Loki and draws comparisons to Lucifer. Thought that was cool. Also, some reactions to some reveals didn't land the impact as well as they should. They do tease the Odin/Loki abusive relationship, but not with the toxicity I wanted, and Odin goes on a redemption path a bit too soon for my liking (while making all the goddesses evil witches...). There's also a lot of anachronistic language in here, such as Loki mentioning a Chihuahua.

Books I haven't read but I know of their existence:

Loki-Melvin Burgess (I saw a Sigyn stan complain about it, but I am not sure how seriously to take her complaints because she said shipping myth!Loki with say Balder or Thor or Odin was "incestuous" because Loki is Odin's "blood brother" despite Loki being unrelated to everyone but Narfi and Nari on Asgard). My standards for Loki don't require that Loki be a paragon of morality, unlike hers. UPDATE: A mutual told me it's horribly transphobic and has rape apologia.

Harbinger of the End-Nicki Chapelway (I've seen praise from Logyn shippers for this one)

Loki: Nine Naughty Tales of the Trickster by Mike Vasich

I saw an excerpt with a rather humorous joke, but the one other Mike Vasich Loki book I read bored the hell out of me. So I haven't given it a chance for that reason.

The Blackwell Pages by Kelley Armstrong and Melissa Marr

It's a children's book series where the descendants of Thor and Loki are the protagonists.

I might have some revies in "LokiBookClub" tag.

[musicboxghost]

I'm really over philanthropists in comic books.

I keep reading books that try to be about community and positive social change, but they center a kind-hearted billionaire who can be trusted with his riches. 🙄

Dick Grayson in his current Nightwing run, Hawkeye in the iconic Matt Fraction run where he buys a whole building and becomes a landlord, almost any variation of Batman or Iron Man...

And there's varying degrees of this, even in those examples.

I just wish that instead of deciding the fate of communities from their ivory Avengers Tower or the remote estate of Wayne Manor, these heroes were part of the community and used connections to their neighbors/collective power to solve problems instead of more money.

Part of the issue is elites making decisions because in the context of the story, they know best.

Part of it is pushing the narrative that has been championed from Rockefeller to Bill Gates; that the rich can be good, thoughtful stewards of disgustingly bloated bank accounts and therefore should be able to hoard it. Because they give it out incrementally to pet causes of their choosing.

And part of it is the rugged individualism of it all. That our problems can be solved by one good man. One great man. Instead of us joining together. Even neighborhood heroes like Daredevil are trying to conquer a whole city's problems largely on his own. And of course he's wealthy and well-educated and connected. A relative elite.

I want to see more poor people heroes. I want to see more heroes using their powers and their time to do mutual aid, not just beating on neighbors and feeding them into the prison industrial complex. I want to see heroes engaged in acts of civil disobedience. I want to see heroes supporting tenants unions.

I know Spider-Man exists, and I appreciate every characterization of him that brings him back to his working class roots. (As a small aside, can you imagine how much impact Spider-man could have doing mutual aid and street activism? He could haul heavy building materials with his super strength to community members building benches or small shelters for the local unhoused population. It would still be the neighbors organizing the activity, sourcing the labor and materials, building everything, etc. But Pete's super strength could come in handy getting it all there. And that speed would be helpful in case cops show up and the builders need a quick escape. Or if they wanted to cover lots of ground. There's a million more examples of how superpowers could slot beautifully into community organizing) And I think some comics have gotten better at looking at broad social issues. Ironheart, the Champions, and Superman Son of Kal-El all come to mind.

If you can think of any comics that rely on community and connection or align with mutual aid/ anarchist politics, I would love to hear your recommendations.

[the-music-maniac]

I recently downloaded a book called “Not All Himbos Wear Capes” by this author named C. Rochelle cause yesterday was like a free Amazon ebook giveaway type thing and I was scrolling through the lists with my friend and this particular one stood out to me cause both the cover page and the title made me crack up - also it was a queer novel so - fdaiofjao that’s not the important part of this post -

I read it and I’m actually flabbergasted by how much these characters remind me of a - way waaay more exaggerated and satirical mind you, and i’m like 99% sure this book is satirical because they live in a city called B i g C i t y, so this feels like a call out to every single superhero movie out there that’s set in a b I G  C I T Y  (ahem new york ahem), and because a lot of the dialogue and names and stuff were absolutely RIDICULOUS in the funniest way possible, I paused several times to just stare at the ceiling and wheeze, it was cringe in a “this sparks joy��� type of way, y’know? - version of Steve and Tony.

Like all the plot and the characters + the superhero and villain system and the world building concepts are original so it wasn’t similar per se, but specifically these two characters made me feel nostalgic enough that I sat up and took notice -

Spoiler warning:

The character of Butch - which is the superhero in this superhero x villain duo - first of all, named Captain Masculine (”CAPTAIN” my brain screeched at me) which is The Funniest name I have ever had the privilege of seeing on a superhero, i love it - while way less jaded than Steve is, less traumatized than Steve is - uhhh maybe not less unhinged than Steve is - and way more wholesome innocent, has moments where his demeanor is super reminiscent of what I’ve seen in early 2012 stony fics and some marvel 616 characterizations of him. He’s generally thought of to be a kind person, who has a public reputation that has been controlling all of his decisions and movements for years. And he goes along with it cause he wants to help. Sound familiar?

And Xander - aka the villain - is very much a scientist with multiple PhDs, a marine biologist and a genius inventor, no powers of his own (at the beginning ahem) - called Dr Antihero - is someone who is of course thought of as a villain in the general public even though this man really doesn’t try all that hard to be villainous, doesn’t believe himself to be a good person even though this man genuinely is a pretty good person who’s trying to use his smarts to make a difference in the world. Which is super reminiscent of the characterizations in alternate universe fics where Tony becomes a supervillain (usually for good reason).

There’s a lot there that’s not the same of course, most of the plot is this author’s own - pretty well written surprisingly, admittedly I didn't go into the story with any high expectations, the science was a little iffy but it wasn't the main point of anything so it was fine - and I still view Butch and Xander as their own characters - and i want to make it very clear that they remind me of the fanfic characterizations i’ve seen of steve and tony not the actual canon characterizations because the mcu sucks ass wait what who said that (i hadn’t gotten through all the comics by the time i lost interest in marvel so i don’t 100% know how the comic versions of them are)

If anyone who sees this post is interested in reading the book I also gotta warn that it's 18+ the smut dialogue is hilarious (in a good way - well to me it's a good way cause I had fun reading it even if I did find it cringe at times) but tis still smut

And I was all set to convince myself i was delusional until I SAW THE FANART PRINTS THEY PUT AT THE END OF THE BOOK AND MY MAN XANDER HAS A GOATEE????? AND BUTCH IS BLONDE WITH BLUE EYES????  IN A BLUE UNIFORM??? XANDER’S VILLAIN COSTUME HAS GOLD ACCENTS???

*insert “YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER LOOK LIKE??!!! LOOOOOK” audio*

ALSO THE BOOK HAD MARVEL REFERENCES

Am I just trippin because I don’t know anything about this particular author - maybe i’m just pointing out the obvious - this is the first book I’ve seen of theirs but were they a stony fan in the past??????? Perchance???????

This has been an absolute adventure and a half

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe: Superman (Part XII)

Part Twelve: Hope

...Jesus Christ, did I actually devote 11 POSTS to this? Goddamn. Well, since I've come this far...

When I started this, I originally planned , like 6 posts, tops. And then, I just kept...typing...more. It's hard for me not to talk about this, I guess, because...well, as I said in the very first post, I love Superman. He's always been my favorite DC hero, and not just because of his supporting cast, or the villains, or the stories told about him. I do love those things, but no. Superman is my favorite because he represents hope in a bleak, uncaring world. A world that's so often marred by violence and pain, and terror around every corner. Superman is the bright colorful primary hope in a greyscale noir darkness. A solar-powered beacon amongst the gloom.

And that sucks, because more and more, it feels like audiences...don't really want that from their heroes. Or at least, filmmakers don't think they do. Think about this for a second. How many heroes in the DC Universe do you think actually inspire hope? In the comics, a bunch could be given that mantle, as well as the Justice League as a whole, most of the time. But the movies?

Think about this. I mean really think about this, OK? Pattinson's Batman is the first version of the character to directly help people as a hero. Sure, Nolan and Burton's Batmen helped people indirectly, and maybe saved a couple of people they didn't know personally, like...a few times? But they never really helped people directly in the same way as Pattinson's Batman did. I'll be making a post about Batman soon enough, but this most recent version is definitely one of the better ones for me for this reason. That said, though, Batman is supposed to inspire fear primarily, which the Pattinson Batman also does well. But what about the other major heroes we've seen?

Well, Wonder Woman is supposed to exude strength in truth, and I definitely don't think Gadot's Wonder Woman pulls that off in her most recent installment. After all, most of that film is basically composed of her lying to herself, and I also think it's one of the reasons that giving her the secret identity of Diana Prince is a mistake. Again, I'll get to her in a later essay series. Oof, that one's gonna be interesting.

I like Momoa's Aquaman, but I can't say he inspires much hope, in either the films or the comics. It's not really his bag. To be fair, a huge problem with his personalization is that he's more defined by his role and powers, than he is as a human being. And Momoa does that well enough, but also leans more into the "underwater badass" vibe than anything else. Which has...mixed results, in truth. Again, Aquaman'll get another entry; I have ideas for him as well.

Cyborg exudes...being depressed. He should more exude anger and frustration, in my opinion, alongside an existential angst, but he's not particularly hopeful. Inspirational, maybe? Even then, that's another character with poor characterization in recent years in the comics, mostly due to the bizarre decision to choose him as a member of the Justice League in the New 52. That's a whole other issue I have, and we'll get to that one too...somehow.

I think that's everybody, right? Right?

Ew, Ezra Miller. Gross. Well, if I must. First of all, Flash is one of my other favorite DC heroes. Yes, I know, I'm a basic bitch of a comic book fan, but sue me. I liked Flash WAY before he was cool, back in the mid-2000s as a teenager. As a hero, Flash does inspire some hope, but weirdly enough...I think he inspires more wonder and mystery than hope. A red wind that blows in and fixes your problems. He wears a mask, but also wears a smile. Unlike Superman, he doesn't exude the sane amount of trust with an unobscured face, but he still inspires joy and excitement. And Miller's Flash annoys the ever-loving shit out of me. I know, the new movie is allegedly great, but we'll goddamn see. He's not my Flash, that's for sure, and he's certainly not the most hope-inspiring hero.

What about Shazam? Again, more wonder from him in the film, but he's also a bit of a hopeful figure in the comics, at least in his early incarnations. I wouldn't say that that's reflected in the film, but the film version is based more on the New 52 version of the character, and he has more of a family-oriented message. And for the record, I think that works perfectly for the character, so no complaints here.

And of course...there's Cavill's Superman. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I do like Cavill's Superman in a number of ways. With what he's given, he's not bad in the role. But of all things that Superman represents in the Snyder DCU, it isn't hope. Sure, he claims that the symbol on his chest stands for hope (WHICH IT FUCKING DOESN'T, BY THE WAY), but you know what I think when I watch his performance as Superman?

Oh, look, it's the guy responsible for the DEATHS OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE! Yeah, bug fucking surprise there, I know, but that's a little piece of baggage that's kinda hard to shake, I think! Sorry, but he never recovers from that for me, and the sequel honestly makes it worse, because they emphasize that even more. It doesn't work, and it certainly wouldn't inspire hope in me if I was in that universe.

Look, I get that I'm rambling. I'm a rambler, it's what I do, but my point is this: we deserve a Superman that we actually like, and that inspires hope in us and the people of Metropolis. Reeves mostly pulled that off, and it's time to bring that idea back to live-action Superman. And here's the fun thing about that concept...it can inspire stories to come. Because, hey...let's say that this first movie puts Superman on the path to inspiring hope. Because that's what I did. I introduced the character and his friends and foes, emphasized his struggles in the film, and examined his impact on the people of Metropolis. That's where you start.

We hit the second movie, and we cement Superman's popularity. We started the first film with metropolis feeling neutral-to-negative. Then, we start the second movie with Metropolis at two extremes. Those people influenced by Gordon Crown will see the negative aspects of Superman's presence, while the others will see Superman as the heroic figure he is. The city's divided on how they feel. But, by the end of that movie, we'll swing more towards those extremes, with greater negative threats making themselves known. Still, positive attitudes get even more positive at the same time. And then...third movie.

Third theoretical film will cement Superman as a bastion of hope, but will also make one of the main villains against him Gordon Crown, as well as Metropolis itself in some ways. The journey of Superman over the course of these films is truly turning him into a beacon of hope for Metropolis, and for the world at large. It is, quite literally, the hero's journey.

And personally, I think that'd be interesting to watch.

...Look, if you've made it this far, I really genuinely hope you liked this long-ass essay series. Honestly, despite the rigor...I had a good time typing it all up. I feel like I always have these ideas, and I never have an outlet to dump them all into, so I appreciate this hellsite being that outlet, as well as appreciating anyone who somehow has the free time to read my word vomit.

So, yeah, now what? I mean, I think the next step in this crazy-ass journey of mine is pretty obvious...kinda. So when that time comes up...well, I'll see you there. Right, buddy?

Index: Superman

Part I: Why I Love Superman

Part II: On Lois Lane

Part III: The Kents

Part IV: The 'Rents

Part V: The...Frendts?

Part VI: Lex Luthor

Part VII: The Real Villains

Part VIII: Superman's Rogues Gallery

Part IX: The Story - Act One

Part X: The Story (Acts Two and Three)

Part XI: The Story - Climax

Part XII: Epilogue (Part One)

Part XIII: Epilogue (Part Two)

[astromechs]

A, V, and X Pls 😊

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

not to be Like This, but scarletnovadevil (rich/matt/wanda), the ot3 i invented, has completely taken over my life. i will shout from the rooftops every single day about how these characters all really vibe so well together. it's about the shared experiences of trauma, mental illness, and self-loathing, but realizing that good things are still out there for you if you're willing to work at them — and if you have supportive, understanding, and loving people by your side.

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

neo/trinity — the matrix series

katniss/peeta — the hunger games

marianne/heloise — portrait of a lady on fire, because this absolutely counts

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

ok i will give a smattering assortment of characters here, because i have a lot of favorites:

katniss everdeen (thg) — i don't see it as much anymore, but people were really out here coming for a traumatized teenage girl and calling her a sociopath because she was a lil blunt and not super nice, like... WHAT. anyway, katniss my best girl. named my cat after you. you're the best always. love how she was messy and real and not at all like an archetypal protagonist.

anakin skywalker (star wars) — ok. i know. ok. yes. he's done the war crimes and made horrible decisions in his life and i'm not going to excuse any of that. but the jedi were emotionally invalidating assholes and he was immensely traumatized and taken advantage of by an emotionally manipulative prick. i will always stand by anakin bye

sherlock holmes was one of my og blorbos and while he doesn't need defending necessarily, christ did the bbc show give people a weird perception of him. he's just a funky little weirdo who likes solving puzzles and hates cops, why are you all being weird

clark kent/superman — i have been constantly having to fend off the "lol he's boring" allegations for him ever since i can remember. sorry if you're so unimaginative that you cannot possibly think that a guy who's just genuinely a good person and uses his power to help people is interesting. i feel sorry for your life. (note, this also applies to other characters who fit into this general category of character, especially my beloved boy rich rider, who also has to fend off the "lol boring" allegations from time to time. BEGONE)

i feel like pretty much any comic book woman who does something out of line needs defending, but i'll use this space to defend some of my faves. so elektra likes a little murder, so what, she's sexy for that and i support women's rights as well as women's wrongs. if anyone comes for gamora it's on sight. i will also always stand up for wanda because everything she's done is justified, and it's not her fault that everyone in her life has completely failed her when she needed help. like, honestly fuck both the avengers and the x-men lol

as a bonus this needs to be said — i'm peter quill's defense lawyer, even for the war crimes 616 peter committed, but also, y'all. y'all. mcu peter quill didn't do anything wrong in infinity war, you're just dumb for still arguing about this FIVE YEARS LATER.

also for the holy love of god are peter parker and matt murdock horribly misinterpreted by fans, like, always. bad takes abound. i'm here to defend the honor of y'all's characterization as well as your bisexuality.

fandom meme!

[wonderlesscomics]

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow (Tom King & Bilquis Evely)

Issues # 1-8

Read January 2024

Story: 7.5/10

Hmm. This is the hardest rating I’ve ever had to give. Let me start the entire review with, I love Tom King. I find his deep knowledge of the comics industry inspiring and his ability to create interesting and exciting narratives spectacular. He has truly created some of my favorite comic books of all time. But I find myself as I close the pages on Supergirl, left wanting. Clearly this book has been made with care and love, it excels at what it wishes to achieve. The prose, the dialogue and the characterizations are top notch. The smaller stories inside of the overarching plot are gripping and emotional. However at the end I just felt like I was let down. This book just lacks an overall cohesion that pushes it past just interesting serial stories. While I understand Krem is not really the core of the story he is the driving force behind every action and decision, and he as a whole is uninteresting and boring. He is simply a plot device to allow King to tell the stories he wants to tell. He has all the answers, joins a gang of mercenaries, escapes supergirl multiple times, one of those times discovering and mastering complex magic. And because Krem left me wanting I think it affects Ruythe and left her emotional drive floundering. I couldn’t relate to her mission because I simply didn’t care and it bored me at times. My final complaint is the narrative lies King tells to trick the audience all in the name of a surprise reveal that it was a lie, when not telling us at all would have let us feel anxious and excited over the future. But because he lied, I knew what was going to happen and when they didn’t happen like that I just felt meh, like “oh good job I guess, I don’t really care”. I don’t want to sound all negative because truly this might be the best incarnation of the character ever written and I feel like I truly understand Kara more now than I ever have.

Art: 9/10

Now throw everything out I had reviewed about the plot and listen to me here; this art is fucking stunning. Bilquis Evely is an absolute wizard of the medium. The line work and character design at brilliant, simply brilliant. Thanks to King’s writing he gives Evely incredible set pieces to work on and elevate to more than I imagine he could ever comprehend when writing them. Their work explodes off the page in dazzling colors and bolstered by incredible paneling and page composition. I took too many screenshots of panels, pages and covers that made my jaw drop. From insane moments like space dragons and flying Pegasus at the end of the known universe to little details in characters faces that spoke more than Kings words on the page. I will be following their work forever now and I’ll stare at anything they draw.

Special Notes:

- what’s up with the Pegasus?

- supergirl is just so awesome and I’m not sure why it took so long for her to be done justice

Overall Rating: 7.5/10

I respect it more than I like it. That is the best phrase I can possibly write for this review. I love Tom King and will always admire and support his work, even if it’s the work that doesn’t speak to me. And by the way that’s fine. Every piece of art doesn’t have to move me emotionally or blow my mind with the most incredible plot I’ve ever seen. Sometimes a work just misses your tastes but one can still acknowledge that craft and care put into it. The level of craft on display in this book is among the best in the entire industry, from art, characters, story telling and impact. This book rocked the comics landscape in a short amount of time and it deserves every award and praise it gets. I can’t wait to see what both King and Evely do next!

[spacelazarwolf]

feeling completely unhinged about batman, this is going to sound insane. but I think making Tim Drake the bisexual Robin was homophobic.

Our options were the guy has been crossdressing since the Golden Age, the guy who dresses like a leather daddy, the kid who has never had a love interest and is constantly dealing with other people's expectations. They went with option number 4 the guy who is essentially written as a blank slate for readers to project onto with little to no thought for whether or not this created an interesting dynamic with other characters. Though Dick Grayson and Jason Todd were both created very deliberately as foils for Bruce Wayne, with personalities that contrasted against Bruce, Tim Drake was designed as a foil for Jason, in opposition to all of Jason's character traits after Jason proved unpopular due to a combination of classism and the editors and writers just wanting a different direction for his character than the readers did. This design decision for Tim Drake ended up with a character whose personality traits are functionally the same as Bruce, but whose purpose is Blank Slate. As a result his character is and always has been a gigantic pile of contradictions, with him simultaneously being an unpopular nerd and having tons of friends and being both relatable middle class and wealthy enough to denigrate the lower class characters in the minds of the writers. Unlike pretty much every other character in Batman, Tim has no special skills that make him stand out as an expert in a particular field or give him a special place on the team, so writers and fans alike both constantly shove him into the roles of other characters, pushing out their expertise and messing with the dynamics. It's incredibly common to see Tim positioned as the """expert detective""" or """techy expert"""" despite this having very little basis in canon when compared to other writers. Yeah whatever Tim figured out Bruce was Batman but Duke Thomas prepared to go toe to toe with the Riddler when he was TEN and figured out Dick Grayson's identity despite Dick literally having face erasing tech and through that was able to extrapolate on everyone else's identities. Tim's fanon position as as the T E C H Y is one that's been stolen from Harper Row and Barbara Gordon, who was the most powerful unpowered character in the DCU but has had her accomplishments gradually and continually downplayed and erased since 1986. This lack of specialization for Tim and his characterization as the everyman relatable blank slate have held him back as the character continues to fail in being given his own identity, which relates to his continuous deaging, a trait largely only shared by women. In fact the deaging of Tim DRake has gotten so bad that the current timeline implication is that Dick fired Tim from being Robin when Tim was TWELVE in order to give Robin to a TEN year old as opposed to the 17 Tim was when the actual comic was released, as Damian is aging but Tim has not.

The common claim that Tim is """""most popular""" and """""""Best""""" Robin is one that's honestly unbacked, and believed only because Tim stans are so goddamn loud. Before his shit, shit run started 2 weeks ago Tim Drake had not held his own solo title in 12 years, whereas Dick Grayson has continually held one for 26 years and spent decades starring in long running back ups and team books prior to that. The reality that Tim stans don't want to admit is that Tim is bisexual because editorial didn't give a shit about him until he came out and it got people talking. They'll often lift up examples of him being "queercoded" prior to him coming out but it's really very notable that all of Tim's instances of "queercoding" are related to shipbaiting with Superboy. On the other hand Dick crossdressed until the Comics Code slammed the ban hammer on queerness because of his existence, openly stated in 2004 that he was alright with homophobes assuming that he's gay, has had several uniforms with influence from queer fashion, and despite being ostensibly straight has been featured on multiple Pride themed comic covers. Next to him is Jason who habitually covers himself in leather and wears a muzzle and said his girlfriend was a good kisser "for a girl". Instead of examining these adult characters relationships to queer masculinity, including Dick Grayson being a gay icon since the 1940s who has literally influenced gay culture, the queer Robin that we got is the run of the mill middle class white high school boy whose writing immediately shifted to QUEER ROMCOM UTOPIA as soon as he came out. The first issue of his solo run is a notable example with complete fluff, Tim claiming that his relationship with his boyfriend Bernard is more "real" than his relationships with his past girlfriends, and Bernard the schlubby conspiracy theorist previously dressed in hoodies suddenly wearing artfully ripped skinny jeans and a statement blazer. Even outside of this issue, the past year sicne Tim came out has seen his and Bernard's flaws and eccentricities scrubbed away in favor of gay cotton candy, rendering Tim somehow even blander and less interesting than before.

But I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet. I haven't slammed the hammer down. Here's the real bombshell on Tim Drake and why him being the lone bisexual Robin for who knows how long is homophobic.

Tim Drake's one solid long lasting character trait until he came out, the ONE aspect of his personality that genuinely stood out, totally unique to him, his place in the family? Was being a fucking asshole. Not only did he break into Batman's house to demand he get over the death of his son, not only did he refuse to allow Dick to grieve his third dead parent when they believed Bruce was dead, but Tim Drake has been cheating on his partners since he started dating. Despite only being created at the very tale end of the 1980s, Tim Drake has had nine love interests in main continuity. This is a feat accomplished by dating three girls at once. Yet it's Dick Grayson - the Romani man - who gained a fandom reputation for being a womanizer and in fanon a cheater, despite having only around a dozen love interests and existing for nearly three times as long as Tim.

tl;dr the bisexual Robin shouldn't be the one who habitually cheats on his partners, there's queercoding besides shipbaiting, Tim Drake sucks, stan Dick Grayson instead

UR CORRECT

[distort-opia]

really liking ur recent fanfic so far & am looking forward to the next chapter! pretty sure u have great taste, so: got any good batjoke fic recs?

Thank you so much, glad you're enjoying it! Sorry for answering so late, I’ve been in writing hyperfixation mode. To be honest, I think an amazing and recent Batjokes fic rec list was made by @lemanzanabizarra -- you can find it here if you wish to get high on some premium Batjokes content from all ‘verses. There are so many incredibly talented writers and great fics out there for this pairing.

That said, I still really appreciate the vote of trust, so I'll try to leave you with some of my personal favorites. I'm an absolute sucker for angst, and my favorite Batjokes incarnation is the comics and the Arkham games one, so that’s what the next couple of fics will exclusively be. The whole list is under the cut (in no particular order).

+ Made For The Journey by Merixcil (194,476k)

When Superman falls, the world doesn’t end. Bits of it die, and all of it changes, but life persists.

Bruce picks his way through the remnants of American society, desperate to get back to Gotham and piece together whatever fragments of his life are left standing. Along the way he picks up unwanted baggage.

Personal thoughts: A completed long fic, and such a well-written one. I do love both Bruce and Joker in it; the author takes their time to explore both of them inside this apocalyptic world, and then show how they might realistically end up traveling together and becoming more. The kind of fic that makes you think to yourself, “man I’ve paid for books so much worse than this”.

+ #48 verse by DesdemonaKaylose (48, 797k)

Amnesiac Bruce and Joker come together for a beautiful domestic dream, which must end, but not yet… Not yet…

Personal thoughts: Alright, this goddamn series. If you’ve read the New 52 run, including DotF and Endgame, this absolutely reaches into your heart and pulls onto your heartstrings one by one. Beautiful writing style and heartfelt characterization.

+ The Bitterest Joke by Dracze (4,822k)

Set during the “Mother Panic Gotham AD” comic.

Joker doesn’t handle grief very well.

Personal thoughts: Once again, this is based off a comic, and I do recommend reading it first. Joker’s thoughts and feelings are so easy to adopt for yourself in this one; amazing writing and characterization (but I mean, it’s Dracze).

+ Echo-logy by ArgentNoelle (2,144k)

Batman doesn’t kill. /// (“He’d hate the maniac for that; for turning everything in Bruce’s world to something Joker owns; if he didn’t have so many other reasons to hate Joker first.”)

Personal thoughts: This is pretty much based off of Bruce’s words in Batman: Under The Red Hood, when he says that he imagines killing Joker every single day. I absolutely love it, read it more than once; it has such a great Bruce, shows off his dark side so well. This fic might as well be canon to me.

+ The Minotaurus by Gjak (8,388k)

That was a peculiar night when Joker decided he would take that bullet for Bruce Wayne.

Not the best of decisions he ever made, albeit a terrible one, to be honest. But absolutely no regrets! The look on Wayne’s face was hilarious – the bubbling giggles gurgle out the oxygen between his bloody lips.

Personal thoughts: This isn’t finished, aaaargh. It has such good writing, and the interactions between Bruce and Joker are just so... dark and complicated, so good. I still recommend reading it.

+ devour me (if you really think that you can stomach me) by gaily-daily (3,825k)

“It’s okay.” Dicks says in a rushed tone. Though he cannot quite look Bruce in the eye. “It’s not your fault.”

Bruce nods, unable to do much of anything else. He would stand if he thought he could handle it. But the truth of it was, Bruce is terrified that if he moves again he’ll end up forcing himself upon whoever was closest to him. Be it Joker or Dick or Barbara.

Personal thoughts: This is basically a fuck-or-die fic... without the fucking. It’s unbelievable how good it is, especially because it takes place through the POV of Barbara and Dick. They witness Bruce’s loss of control, and their acceptance that only Joker could ever withstand the darkness in him -- amazing. I mean I’d still pay money for the full on smutty version, but alas, we make do with imagination.

+ Paris, Revisited by Dracze (7,231k)

Set during “Batman: Europa,” after the events in Paris. Batman and the Joker decide to take a break before flying to Rome, but then Joker’s health takes a dramatic turn for the worse.

Personal thoughts: Amazing Batman: Europa fic. I think I’ve read the scene in which Bruce thinks Joker is dying like ten times. The emotions that transpire between them are so well-captured.

+ Two Step by synthwave (10,133k)

If you travel in a full circle it might be equally probable that everything changes, or that nothing does. (Set after the ending of Batman: Europa.)

Personal thoughts: Another brilliant Europa fic. I adore the way this fic frames Batman and Joker’s relationship as more or less a zero-sum game. Bruce is just so... raw in this one, and his interactions with Joker feel so them.

+ Destined To Do This Forever by Vulcanmi (86,775k)

The Joker turns himself in, and Batman waits for him to put whatever he's got planned into motion.

And keeps waiting.

Personal thoughts: This one is a long fic and still ongoing, a combination of the Arkham games, comics and the Lego-verse when it comes to characterization. It’s terribly captivating and dynamic and has such a good premise, I can’t wait for the author to update! Things have started to get very interesting.

+ I'll Tell You No Lies by TheMidnightOwl (29,507k)

Earth-22.  One mistake was all it took.  In the months that pass after Bruce accidentally kills a hired gun, he must reevaluate his life, his methods, and his mission.  He remembers everything the Joker has ever said to him, every taunt he ever made, every similarity they share, and this time he's listening.  This time he gets the joke.

A fix-it of the origin of The Batman Who Laughs.  Readable without having read any of the Dark Nights: Metal series, more details inside.

Personal thoughts: Let me tell you, I love this one so much. It’s everything I ever wanted in a Batman Who Laughs origin. I always hated that they made his origin a freaking chemical, it’s such a simple cop-out. If the author didn’t write this fic, I might’ve ended up doing it at some point; this is a rare case of “God, I want to see this written so badly” and then finding an amazing fic that already exists! Blessings to you, author. Blessings upon your family and your cow.

+ Giving In by mollyknight (22,177k)

When Bruce Wayne presses the playing card against the glass of Joker’s padded cell, everything changes.

Personal thoughts: Another one I’ve re-read more than once and adore. It starts off from the New 52 moment in which Bruce brings the Joker card back to Joker’s cell, basically revealing his identity -- a moment that lives rent-free in my brain, tbh. It’s such an interesting exploration of where their relationship could have gone, from that point onwards. And the way the author writes Bruce’s guilt but overwhelming attraction to Joker... incredibly satisfying.

+ Road Trip by GreenJacks (2,038k)

They're a long way away from home, and one of them has a broken ankle. The barman has no idea why those two men were calling each other friends, because they clearly weren't. 

Personal thoughts: This is from the perspective of a complete stranger and outsider, and it’s so interesting. Bruce’s and Joker’s dynamic is so well-captured, especially that sense of inevitable attraction and understanding, intertwined with genuine animosity.

+ And When (His) Edges Soften by MissNaya (6,106k)

“You need something from me, I need something from you. What's say we make a deal?”

“You don't need me. Not for that.”

“Oh, but I do!” Joker grins, looking up at Batman through half-lidded, radioactive-green eyes. “Who else knows how to hold me like you do? Who else peppers my cheeks with kisses? Granted, they're kisses from your fists, but it's the thought that counts...”

Or, Joker is an unconventional omega, and Bruce is never quite sure who's in control.

Personal thoughts: Yes, this is A/B/O. Don’t know if you like this trope, but I had to include it because it’s so goddamn well-written. Bruce’s reluctance, his obsession, his guilt and his excuses... and Joker’s feralness, God. Chef’s kiss. 11/10. 

+ Sooner Than You Think by DictionaryWrites (1,275k)

After the events of Arkham City, Bruce doesn't know what to do with himself, and secludes himself in the Batcave. 

Personal thoughts: Aaaaaa. Bruce mourning Joker in the Arkham games will never fail to utterly destroy me emotionally, and this fic is beautifully heartbreaking. The idea of mourning, of sitting shiva for Joker, his yearning -- exquisite.

+ The Last Five Years by Dracze (1,936k)

Set somewhere around "Injustice: Gods Among US" Year Five, issues 10-14. Knowledge of the comics is not necessary to understand the fic if you know the game or the basic premise, but it will help.

Selina leaves the resistance. Alfred tries to comfort Bruce the way he usually does, only to discover that Bruce is already seeking comfort with someone else.

Personal thoughts: Another one that deals with Bruce mourning Joker, dealing with his death. Bruce’s loneliness and the way he misses Joker, the things he tells him -- incredibly well-done. I would definitely like to sue Dracze for emotional damages for this one.

+ The Clown by CaptainMarls (700)

A criminal, dead by the hands of a savior.

After Superman kills the Joker, Batman tries to react and finds he has no idea how.

Personal thoughts: Once again, this deals with the aftermath of Joker’s death in the Injustice game and comic. It’s short, but packs such a punch. I love how it also deals with Bruce’s complicated relationship with Clark himself, and that famous accusation of “You loved him, didn’t you?” -- very impactful.

+ Freak Like Me by TimmyJayBird (3,018k)

“I knew you had it in ya, Batsss,” he said, his voice rough and strained, “Don’t stop now. Come back and split me open.” 

Personal thoughts: This is pretty much smut. Really good, in-character, angry hate sex. Absolute chef’s kiss.

+ contact high by venetianAnarchist (3,407k)

There's something slightly intoxicating about being so close to Joker at his most vulnerable, his rawest. His pupils are blown, black overtaking green, and there's something quietly challenging in that gaze that sets Bruce's skin alight at every point of contact.

(Literally a cavity search fic, because Joker's a naughty boy and no one else is game enough to search him. They both just really need to get laid, guys.)

Personal thoughts: What it says on the tin. Bruce is really well-written in this fic, I love how the author shows him basically get drunk on Joker’s closeness and weakness, alongside an awareness of crossing the line. So well-written.

And we’ve reached the end! There are so many other fics, but I’ve tried to stick to ones I’ve reread, or came back to at least once. Otherwise we might be here all day. I truly hope you like these; and of course, don’t forget to show your appreciation towards the authors! <3

[soft-october-night]

The Love Interests in the Works of Jane Austen: An Assessment

This is an "extremely scientific" and "thoroughly researched" ranking based on personality, money, family and connections, and is a bit of a blend between the book characterizations and the film characterizations (and is in no way only based on my own opinions). Here we go, grouped by book but not much else.

Edmund Bertram: absolute trash. His family has treated you unbelievably shitty since day one and not only has he BARELY noticed, he ALSO has treated you shitty. Will fall in love with someone beautiful and fun and when she dumps him will come crawling to you for a rebound. His passion for you is so lackluster that even the esteemed author who wrote about it barely spared a paragraph on your relationship. Has a job but only because his dad owns the land the church is built on. You’ll gain no connections or family by marrying him, since he’s literally your cousin.  0/10

Henry Crawford: There IS such thing as too much fun, and that is never clearer than in this man, who will try to seduce you as a game, freak out when his middling overtures don’t work and then try and seduce you “for really real” this time. You will definitely move up in the world if you marry him, and if you play your cards right it seems like his sister is also just REALLY into you, so see how that goes. Life will be pretty okay until you find him in bed with one (or more, who knows) of your relations. 3/10, 8/10 if you’re into that

John Willoughby: Will be like something out of a romance novel, you’re thinking he’s going to propose and then he just fucking ghosts you and embarrasses the fuck out of you at a party by acting like he doesn’t know you. Somehow marry him (congrats on the inheritance you must have, btw) and get ready to take a backseat to the whims of his aunt for as long as she lives. 1/10, at least you get to live in a nice house.

Edward Ferrars: Oh Edward. He’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? Super kind, your family loves him, he made a bunch of stupid decisions in his youth that are coming back to bite him in the ass. He is loyal to an absolute fault, but you luck out when his fiance turns out to be a bit of a gold digger and dumps him when his mom disowns him. He doesn’t have a job and neither do you, but his family doesn’t wanna speak to him (lucky you!) and you’ll be happy and poor together if you two can work on your communication skills. 7/10.

Colonel Brandon: He’s got a nice house, the respect of his friends and the community, and he has a LOT of passion. He’ll give your sister’s penniless husband a job, dramatically rescue you from a rainstorm, make sure his dead girlfriend’s daughter is happy and taken care of even after your ex fucks HER over too, and is all around a pretty decent guy. Just. Uh. Maybe, kinda, sorta, needs to go after women his own age and is probably with you because you remind him of his dead girlfriend. 5/10 with the wildly inappropriate age gap, 9/10 without it.

Mr. Wickham: Please don’t. He’s a thirsty bitch who lives for drama and you think he’s fun until you find out he tried to sleep with one teenage girl and is making eyes at your fifteen year old sister behind your back. Marry him (through the grace of mysterious benefactors, cause he ain’t marrying anyone unless he’s paid the right price) and get ready for a life of being surrounded by military men in the north of England while your husband tries to fuck everything that moves. Work that out somehow with him and you might actually be happy. 0/10.

Mr. Bingley: He is a softboi who will do literally anything his friends tell him to do. He is SUPER rich, and marrying him will throw your sister’s into the path of other rich men and he is REALLY into you, but get ready to be sucking up to his sisters for literally the rest of your life. Unless he can ship Miss Bingley off to live with Mrs. Hurst, have fun trying to wage a war of barely concealed insults over the breakfast table every morning, and if you’re marrying Bingley I’m sorry but that is a war you just cannot win. He doesn’t have a job but he does have five thousand a year, and neither of you can manage money. You’ll love simply and deeply and be happy as any two can be. 8/10.

Mr. Collins: Last resort to rescue yourself from a life of being a burden to your parents until they die and then having to become a governess or something. Has a job but never shuts up about his boss. You will have to rearrange everything in your house according to his boss’ will. 2/10

Mr. Darcy: Is a anxious disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to girls at parties and needs to learn how say no to going out when he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t have a job because he’s a landlord; he owns half of Derbyshire and has ten thousand a year, but turns out that all of that money and land can’t buy tact or charisma. Doesn’t know how to flirt and thinks he’s doing a great job (he’s not). He’ll propose to you out of the fucking blue one day by insulting literally everything about you, but don’t worry! Reading his letter unlocks Darcy 2.0. This patched version gives him humility, a personality, and he WILL gain the ability to rescue your family from utter ruin. Marry him and enjoy a life of luxury and witty ripostes, but beware! You ARE going to have to deal with Lady Catherine until the day she dies, not to mention Caroline Bingley’s barely concealed contempt every time you meet in polite company. Darcy 1.0 3/10, Darcy 2.0 8/10.

Captain Wentworth: Absolutely top tier. Has a job, has earned everything he has, including a fortune and the respect of his peers, superiors, and subordinates. His sister and her husband are practically the only happily older married couple you know, his friends are super fun and nice (even the dour one with all the poetry knows how to have a polite conversation). If you dumped him ten years ago on the advice of your almost comically shitty family yeah, he’s going to hold a grudge, but he WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU and the MOMENT he gets over his pride will do everything and anything in his power (including leaping the bounds of propriety!) to win you back. Based on his love, money, and connections you should RUN, not walk, into his arms TODAY and allow him to rescue you from your family and whisk you off to see the world on his ship, at least until Napoleon busts out of Elba. 12/10

Mr. Eliot: Will lose all your old schoolfriend’s husband’s money in a bad deal, has debts out the ass, might be trying to get with either you or the woman your dad has been flirting with for the last few years, you’re not sure. Is totally ruining the rekindling relationship you’re trying to get going with your far superior ex. He wants the land and title your dad has and will stop at nothing to get it. Marry him and you can move back into your old house (maybe? it’s a little unclear what with all the debts) but have every single cent your mother left you immediately put into some dumbass scheme. 1/10

Henry Tilney: another softboi who just wants to act in the school play while his dad and brother plan to ship him off to military school and berate him for not joining the football team. Bring him shopping with you to pick out dresses, spend long nights over tea chatting about books. Has a job, but again, only because his dad owns the land the church is on. Loves you even though you have some very strange ideas about his house, and will forgive you when he realizes you thought his dad either murdered or imprisoned his mom. If he can find the courage to tell his dad to fuck off and let him live his own life, expect a long, happy marriage of snuggling together in a window seat somewhere, sipping tea and reading. 9/10

John Thorpe: Trash bastard man. Peaked in whatever equivalent of high school he had. Shitty and rude to everyone, would post racist memes on facebook and start fights if he could, all while being shitty and manipulative and CREEPILY possessive of you. -2/10

Robert Martin: A sweet himbo farmer who just wants to love and worship you. He has a job, is pretty rich, and while his connections may not be above his class, he’s an earnest boy who wants to take care of you and be taken care of in turn. Marry him the first time, absolutely do NOT let your friend influence you against him, because who KNOWS if you will get a second proposal! (You will, he likes you THAT much.) Marry him and enjoy a sweet, simple life of exactly zero drama (unless your friend is around). 7/10

Mr. Elton: Trifling gold digging trash who doesn’t know what the word no means. Do not marry, unless you want to be censured by decent, hardworking people -1/10

Frank Churchill: Knows how to have fun, but you know there’s something more going on. He won’t let you see his letters, he sends out secret notes, then he smiles and tells you that everything is totally a okay. Another boy with ANOTHER overbearing aunt, only this one doesn’t know how to say no. Marry him if you’ve got the money, but he will always be longing after the poor girl next door that auntie wouldn’t let him married, and would have cheated on you already if she was into it. 3/10

Mr. Knightly: He’s your brother in law and you’ve known him almost your whole life, so that’s a little sus, but he is also the ONLY person in your entire life who knows how to tell you no (and you really, REALLY need to be told no sometimes.) He is extremely wealthy, but more importantly he’s kind and caring about people who are considered “beneath” him. He will break his weird no dancing rule to dance with your shy friend, he will ream you out for being shitty to unwed spinsters who value your opinion, and somehow has the correct read on everyone all the time. You will gain no connections by marrying him, since the two of you already have the exact same connections anyway, but the two of you should be content in a test of wills that will last a lifetime. You’ll be very happy as long as he doesn’t get super pedantic and start correcting you about everything. 7/10

[momsopposed2theoccult]

It’s come to my attention that a good majority of people on this website have a really poor understanding of the conflict between Toph and Katara in “The Chase.” As somebody who loves both characters and their friendship, this irritates me. Without further ado, let’s unpack that in what is in theory supposed to be a meta but turned out more like a rant. 

“Katara was hostile towards Toph because the fact that she’s a gender non-conforming girl made Katara uncomfortable because Katara is obsessed with gender roles.”

Alright, so right off the bat this is just... completely idiotic and clearly fuelled by an agenda (and likely also a lot of projection). First of all, how is Katara of “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!” fame “obsessed with gender roles?” There’s an entire episode in Book One dedicated to Katara refusing to conform to societal norms for women in the Northern Water Tribe! Katara routinely calls Sokka out on his misogynistic bullshit! (Mind you I adore Sokka but he could be a little twerp at times and Katara was 100% right to challenge him on it) Katara is the feminist icon of ATLA! The fact that people act like Katara is some sort of conservative tradwife who loves gender roles instead of the outspoken feminist and political activist she is makes me incredibly angry.

Second of all, Katara was extremely kind and welcoming towards Toph at first. She gently encouraged her to join in with the group as they all set up camp together as opposed to setting up her own private camp. It’s only when Toph refuses to comply with her that Katara begins to get irritated. Mind you, Toph has her reasons for this, something I’ll get to in a minute, but from Katara’s perspective (key word here is perspective) she’s just being an annoying little stubborn, selfish, lazy, anti-social, entitled brat. Of course we the audience find out later that this isn’t the case at all (or at least in theory we should find out later but apparently some people on here skipped that part), but for all her many talents Katara is not a mind reader and has no way of knowing what’s going on inside Toph’s head, nor does she know her well enough yet to fully grasp the context behind why Toph acts the way she does. Katara is somebody who greatly values community and believes in teamwork, so Toph turning down her warm welcome in favour of “carrying her own weight” likely felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that she’s already emotionally exhausted from having to constantly mother Aang and Sokka. If I were Katara, I likely would have reacted the same way. 

Oh and I agree that the “the stars look beautiful tonight, too bad you can’t see them, Toph” comment was out of line, but it doesn’t make her a horrible person. It makes her a 14 year old, and 14 year olds can be nasty, especially sleep deprived 14 year olds. Katara is otherwise a very kind and compassionate person. Other characters have said worse than that. Hell, Toph herself has said worse than that. That being said, it was a deeply hurtful comment and I do like to imagine that she apologized for it off-screen. 

“Toph is a lazy, entitled, and classist spoiled rich brat who just didn’t want to do chores and expected other people to wait on her.” 

This is another one that makes me roll my eyes and ask if they even watched the show. First of all, the presumption that Toph is a lazy or entitled person is just... laughable. I feel like people forget that Toph isn’t actually an earthbending prodigy in the way that Azula is a firebending prodigy (I could say more about Azula and how her belief that she was the unshakeable prodigal daughter ultimately caused her downfall and how by the end of the series Zuko is arguably a better firebender than her but this isn’t a meta about Azula and Zuko, now is it?). Nah. Toph was a sheltered kid who discovered she had the ability to earthbend, was told that she could never become great at it because she was blind, and in response said FUCK THAT and decided to work her ass off until she was not only great but the very greatest all thanks to her crazy, stupid, off-the-charts nerve, drive, grit, ambition, and desire to prove people wrong about her. Does that sound like a lazy person to you? Believe me when I say that you do not achieve that kind of skill level by sitting around on your ass and expecting to have things handed to you. And entitled? Don’t make me laugh. Toph hates having things handed to her, that’s one of her defining characteristics. 

As for the implication that she’s classist and enjoys basking in her family’s wealth and being waited on...... are you stupid? Did you even watch the show? Toph absolutely despises everything about her parents’ lifestyle. Growing up like that was traumatizing and restrictive for her. We’re talking about a girl who likes to play around in the mud for fuck’s sake. Toph does not care how much money you have. She never wanted any to begin with. She even says it herself; “I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. They gave me everything I could have wanted. But they never gave me what I actually needed - their love.” Not to mention that she easily could have continued to freeload off her parents wealth but instead chose to sneak out of the house and make her own money doing what she did best; disproving people’s assumptions about her earthbending. Oh and I’ve seen someone point this out before but WWE is generally considered a “low brow” activity that “proper” people frown upon and shouldn’t associate themselves with. Toph fucking loved it. I don’t know how seriously people take the comics, as they often miss the mark when it comes to characterization (Toph’s, however, was generally pretty accurate), but there’s a part in The Rift where Sokka asks her when she’s going to start charging people to learn metalbending and she gets all serious and flat out tells him that she will never do such a thing, because money doesn’t matter to her. Sharing her one true passion with the world is what matters to her. Oh and the part where she basically tells a bunch of rich and sleazy businessmen to fuck off and “stop thinking about money and start thinking about people’s lives” is just... *chef’s kiss* Sorry my thoughts here are so incoherent but this take is so piss poor and makes me so angry that I don’t even know where to start. As for “Toph enjoys being waited on” I just- *sigh* Toph has such a visceral and defensive reaction to any implication that she is unable to take care of herself. Like I said earlier, that’s one of her defining characteristics as well as the reason for her behaviour in “The Chase.” Where are people getting these takes?

You wanna know why Toph acted the way she did in The Chase? Well, first let’s recap her life up to this point. Toph was born the blind daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. From day one her parents treated her like glass due to her disability. She was not allowed to leave her house unsupervised, and even then she was only permitted to walk around the gardens of her home. Every day of her life she was pitied, gaslit, babied, ignored, emotionally neglected, and made to feel ashamed of herself. She was not allowed to make any decisions for herself. She was not allowed to do anything for herself. She was not allowed to talk to other children. She had no friends. Other people didn’t even know she existed on account that her parents kept her locked up in her own home and didn’t tell anybody about her because they were so ashamed to have a blind daughter. Flash forward to “The Chase.” Toph begins to set up her own camp separate from the rest of the Gaang. Considering that she flat out was not socialized as a child and hadn’t even interacted with anybody her own age prior to a few days ago, this is understandable. So then Katara comes up to her and asks her why she isn’t setting up camp with the others as if she’s somehow incapable of taking care of herself (again, this is just what happened from her perspective) like she’s her mom or something and it just angers her because she thought she joined this group to get away from all that and she doesn’t understand how friends work because she’s never had one, all she knows is that apparently this girl thinks she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, and that infuriates her because it’s the exact same bullshit she thought she was running away from.

There’s a lot more I could say about this but I’m sick of typing so yeah in conclusion both of these takes are piss poor and I’m sick of having to read them. Stan Toph, Katara, and their friendship. 

[lucemferto]

Niki Nihachu & Barbara Kean

Gonna drop something controversial real quick.

Niki Nihachu is the most tragic character on the Dream SMP – and I don’t mean in the sense of her having a tragic story (though she is up there), but in the sense that she is tragically mishandled.

I want to start out by saying that this essay is by no means an attack on the content creator Niki Nihachu or her abilities as a performer. She is frequently one of the strongest actors on the SMP and I have no idea how much of her character writing was within her power. How much of it was improv, how much pre-planned, how much something she genuinely wanted to do and how much stuff she just stumbled into or – in the worst-case scenario – was forced upon her. I don’t know.

The Dream SMP is not very transparent when it comes to their creative process. As such I can only judge it as a discerning viewer and English major dropout, who retained some half-remembered stuff about narratology.

So, a few weeks ago, I tumbled on here that Niki’s character journey reminded me a lot of the character Barbara Kean from the hit TV-show Gotham. Then I got an ask asking me to elaborate. This is the elaboration.

Barbara Kean

So, a quick crash course for people who haven’t seen Gotham (the greatest comic book show on Television, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!): Barbara Kean was a major female character throughout all five seasons of Gotham – and not once during those five seasons did the writers ever figure out what they wanted to do with her.

Every 10-12 episodes or so, Barbara’s role shifted completely. She started out as cop-protagonist Jim Gordon’s girlfriend at home and moral compass, then became part of a bisexual love triangle, then a hard-drinking jealous party girl with a backstory as repressed, lonely rich kid, before being kidnapped by a serial killer and ultimately making her perfect metamorphosis into the psychotic ex-girlfriend trope.

And that was Season 1.

Since then, she became the pseudo-Harley Quinn to the pseudo-Joker, a whip-wielding dominatrix, the obligatory female member in a supervillain squad, some sort of information broker, a mafia kingpin, the leader of a girl-power posse and – my favourite – the reincarnated wife of an ancient immortal who also controls all of Gotham and transferred that control over to her before that plot-point was dropped harder than a half-dead Oswald Cobblepot of the Gotham piers.

Also, she’s Batgirl’s mom.

In short, it’s a mess – but that’s what makes Gotham kinda fun.

Character Cohesion

Now, obviously, Niki’s character journey has not been quite as extreme. But it falls into the same traps, I find. Namely, that there’s just a distinct lack of character cohesion or character continuity.

Now, character cohesion or character continuity doesn’t mean that the arcs these characters undertake can’t be explained in a logical way. Barbara’s character journey is logical in the sense that you can explain it all with in-universe logic – but it’s not logical from a narratological sense now, is it?

Character Cohesion basically means that a character’s journey is reflected in their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need. Their arc is the natural continuation of what was set-up in previous sequences. Everything falls into a whole with Set-up, Confrontation, Resolution – we set up the character’s Want, their Want and Need are conflicting, the Want vs. Need is resolved. Ideally this coincides with the plot beats of the large conflict surrounding the cast.

When you look at Barbara in Season 1 of Gotham, you’re not thinking “This one right here – she’s the reincarnated wife of Ra’s Al Ghul”. Because why would you? There was no set-up; it’s not part of what her character was about in this moment – or any moment before that concept was introduced. It’s not needed for her character conflict (or any thematic conflicts for that matter).

It’s quite transparently just something that is affixed to her so that she has something until the writers come up with the next at which that first thing will dropped, underdeveloped.

Niki in Season 1

Niki follows the same route, unfortunately. She’s set-up as the resistance in L’Manburg, allies herself with Eret and HBomb until – oops – it doesn’t end mattering, because that entire side of the “plot” is completely underdeveloped. Just be a damsel until Wilbur can swoop in and save you, Niki.

Okay, but now she has a big moment with Tommy and Tubbo just after the pit-scene. “We’ll figure something out”, she says. “We need L’Manburg back”. This is all before the backdrop of Wilbur completely giving in to his role as a villain and Techno’s apparent “betrayal”.

So, now, surely, Niki is gonna affect change in Pogtopia and will have some influence on either Tommy or Wilbur, the two people she’s closest to. What’s this? Her biggest contribution is holding a birthday party where Quackity convinces Wilbur to hold off on his TNT-plan? And after that … she’s just gonna be part of the Pogtopia-masses?

Now, I like Wilbur’s writing and Season 1 generally, but when it comes to Niki (and Eret) something went terribly wrong. Both of them provided many a set-up – none of which were taken advantage of, unfortunately.

And, just to be clear, I’m not putting the blame on Niki here (or at least not most of it). Season 1 was pretty firmly in Wilbur’s hand … and Season 2 was a train wreck.

Niki in Season 2

Niki is – for the most part of Season 2 – a nothing character. She has no real conflict, no character beats, no arc. This is because through some unfortunate writing decisions, Season 2 is pretty squarely focused on a specific set of characters – and even fewer of those characters are granted a fully explored, completed character arc.

It all culminates in her Doomsday villain arc – a moment that can be logically explained from both an in-character perspective and a meta-perspective, but unfortunately, it’s not justified from a technical writing point of view.

Niki burning down the L’Mantree is her “Ra’s Al Ghul’s reincarnated wife”-moment. It’s a big statement that put her character on the map for a large part of the audience again. It was a striking visual. It could not be ignored.

Most of that was because it was a stark departure from her characterization in Season 1. Now, such a departure doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. The problem comes in when

a.) The full potential of the character in their previous narrative role had not yet been fully or even partly exhausted

b.) It cuts into an on-going character arc and drastically changes its course

c.) It’s not foreshadowed or developed properly.

And most of those are true for Niki’s character. She was not necessarily underdeveloped but underexplored in Season 1 and had no consistent storyline going on in Season 2. She was a witness to Tommy’s trial, but that was never worked into an on-going storyline for her. No matter how much we retroactively pretend like this turn to villainy, this breakdown, was brewing deep inside of her – there was no foreshadowing.

The reason, why I said it’s understandable from a meta-perspective, is that the content creator Niki Nihachu had a self-admittedly hard time getting her foot in in Season 2 – because Season 2, for as much love as I will heap upon Tommy’s and Dream’s storyline, was a pretty messy.

So, the villain arc was not well foreshadowed and Niki’s turn was developed, but what happened after she was in it?

Niki in Season 3

Well, unfortunately that problem of an inconsistent storyline never really went away for her. In the beginning of Season 3, she hatched her wagons with Jack Manifold, which was a pretty big tonal shift – from darkly tragic to cartoonish villainy.

But as Jack kept developing his character in that lane and following up on big plot development with corresponding character moments, Niki again just … vanished. She then changed gears again, joining the Syndicate – a great idea if only the Syndicate actually streamed together and developed a storyline and group cohesion.

As it stands right now, Niki’s character exists in the negative space of the fandom imaginations. We are given some scraps and good character moments – her sleeping in a jail cell, “I started baking again”, her secret city – but those moments never coalesce into a full-fledged storyline.

Her character’s journey is still as fragmented and underexplored as it ever was. I really hope that – with Wilbur’s revival and the new character conflict that seems to arise from that for her – she manages to finally get the foot in and get the storyline and dynamic arc she deserves.

[danny-chase]

@karrya 

“Also, going back to your OP again, what are your thoughts on the Lazarus pit in general? Also also, have you watched the Titan series, and if so, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!”

I’m going to start here with answering your questions if that’s okay. So the Lazarus pit. I think it’s pretty meh in it of itself ngl. Like for context, the comics I’ve read with it being used are Birds of Prey 1998 (Dinah takes a dip and it cures her throat and gives her back her Canary Cry), Batgirl 2000 (Cass is thrown into the pit by Shiva), and Batman and Robin 2009 (Dick revives a fake dead Bruce and Kate also takes a dip after dying). It’s confusing because they never really define what it is or does, but I do like the idea of Ra’s having access to the pit as a means of immortality, I think this makes him an interesting villain. I dislike that the pit basically means any death in the DC universe can be undone and that any injury can be healed. Basically I think the pit is too OP and that it shouldn’t be used for anyone other than Ra’s in order to balance the universe a bit (but this is just my personal preference for in-universe story telling).

I have watched Titans (HBO) and it... is, well, it is something. Basically I disagree with every single characterization of every character in the show (except for Garfield’s - it’s kind of hard to be worse than his comic book counterpart who’s constantly seen making “chauvinist remarks”). Rachel is pretty much a child in the show, which is continuing the trend of aging her down, and personally I dislike how emotional she is in the show given that her original story was one of learning to be more emotional and how to express these new emotions she’s feelings. I’m so tired of watching Dick make the worst decisions at every single opportunity. I’m tired of watching Jason make the worst decisions at every single opportunity. Anna Diop is hot and is carrying the show imo. I liked Blackfire but detested her relationship with Superboy. Also t-shirt Kon isn’t as fun as leather jacket Kon and this was a missed opportunity. I don’t understand why season 3 took place in Gotham when the show was supposed to be about the Titans. Garth was blond *cries*. Donna died in the dumbest way possible and it made me scream at the time. In summary, I watch the show because I’m committed to the characters, though I personally don’t like these characterizations, and do enjoy laughing at the show at times (like they threw a Lazarus pit in the sky - this is enjoyably bad, or Donna saying “I died at a carnival” to Hank had me laughing so hard).

TL;DR, the Lazarus pit breaks the universe and Titans (HBO) is bad but i’m here for it